Romance scams and how to avoid them

It starts with a friend request on social media or a “wink" on a dating app and leads to flirtatious messages, declarations of love and promises of a bright future together.

All it takes to make this happily ever after a reality is a little cash or a prepaid credit card.

These trademarks of a romance scam happen over and over, often with disastrous financial — and emotional — consequences for unwitting targets.

Learn how you can tell if someone is a romance scammer and what to do to protect your heart and your wallet. 

A romance scam is a fraud scheme that targets people on social media through email, text or online dating platforms. Scammers create fake profiles with attractive photos and fake occupations, then contact strangers, often leading with compliments. Before long, their feigning romantic interest leads to a “relationship" and, soon after, requests for you to send cash, join a business venture or invest in cryptocurrency.¹

In 2023, Canadians lost more than $50.3 million to romance scams, according to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre.² This number is likely even higher since romance frauds are often underreported, with many victims too ashamed to come forward.³

The CAFC is reporting a rise in combined romance-investment scams. One version of this scam is known as “romance baiting” or “pig butchering".⁴

In a pig-butchering scam, a fraudster poses as a successful investor and develops an online friendship or romantic relationship with their target. Once they’ve gained your trust, they'll encourage you to invest in a “get rich quick” opportunity, often involving cryptocurrency. When they believe they've gotten all they can of your funds, they'll disappear with your money. You're left with an empty wallet and a broken heart.

The CAFC reports total investment fraud losses of $309.4 million, representing the highest reported losses in 2023.⁴

Scammers often follow similar patterns of behaviour. Some red flags to look out for:

• They're quick to profess their love before they've met you in person.
• Their online dating or social media profiles are bare, with few interactions, limited posts and little to no friends or followers.
• They often claim to be in professions that require them to work overseas, such as military or oil and gas-related fields.⁵
• There are inconsistencies between their online profiles and posts and the information they share in calls or messages.
• Soon after "meeting," they ask you to move to a private mode of conversation, such as text or WhatsApp.
• After professing their love, they request money for emergencies like medical bills or cash for plane fare and travel visas to plan a visit so the two of you can be together.
• They suggest investing in the crypto market for "get rich quick schemes" with "high and guaranteed returns" based on their own success in similar investments.⁴
• They have excuses for not having their own cash, like having their wallet stolen or getting locked out of their Canadian accounts while overseas. Their requests are often urgent, and they get angry if you refuse.
• They discourage you from sharing your “relationship" with friends and family as a means of isolating you from loved ones who may be suspicious of the relationship.²

You want to be open to finding new love, but you don't want to fall for a scam. There are several things you can do to avoid becoming an easy target for romance scammers.

Scammers will mine personal information from your profile and pretend to be from the same area or be an alumnus of a rival high school to develop a connection and gain your trust. Make sure to keep your personal and financial details private online.

Conduct a reverse image search of their profile photo to see if it's used elsewhere with different names or information. Ask detailed questions to identify inconsistencies in their stories and find other red flags. Don't be afraid to ask friends or family for help with your sleuthing.

It's flattering to receive flirty messages, but rare to receive declarations of love or promises of forever after a few emails or instant messages. If a person or their promises seem too good to be true, trust your instincts. 

If you receive an unsolicited email or message on social media, be weary. Don't engage if you don't recognize the number, and never click on any hyperlinks. 

Be on the lookout for common romance scammer phrases and tactics often used to manipulate victims. Scammers usually start by trying to make you feel special and professing their love, "I've fallen for you," "I've never met anyone like you." Then they'll ask for help— "I hate to ask you this, but I've lost my job. Could you send me money?" They're also very good at dodging any requests to meet in person or over video chat, "Sorry, I can't video message— my Wi-Fi is too bad." 

Never send money or gift cards, make wire transfers or share financial details like your Social Insurance Number, credit card or bank account numbers online, especially with someone you've never met.

While fraud can happen to anyone, seniors are targeted more than others.⁶ Seniors tend to be less tech-savvy, are often isolated or lonely, and tend to be more trusting. To help a senior in your life avoid being scammed, share information about fraud and tips for how to prevent it.

If you suspect you're involved in a romance scam, don't be hard on yourself and don't hesitate to report it. It's essential to take action right away. First, stop all contact with the scammer and then:

• Call your local police station and file a report with the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre through their online confidential reporting system or by calling 1-888-495-8501.
• Report the incident to Scotiabank (and other financial institutions and credit card issuers where you may have compromised accounts) and immediately put a stop to any outstanding payments.
• Report the profile to the online dating or social media platform or application where you initially connected with the scammer to have their account deactivated.
• Warn others. Even though sharing your story might feel uncomfortable, it can prevent the same thing from happening to your family or friends.